Anxiety

I sent in my med forms last week via email. Almost right away, I get a return email that one of my kids is not in the system, so they cannot process his med forms. Oh no! What? I know I gave them all the names and ssn's...Frantically, I made contact with customer service, who confirmed that yes, Tyler was infact in the system and she would forward the information on.  Wheeeeew!.
The next day, I was contacted by investigation unit via email, that they could not proceed until they received my E-quip in the system.  Oh no! What? I know I released that when I was there with the initial fingerprint person.  They had all the signature forms.  Frantically, I made contact with the investigation's customer service, and apparently the equip form had to be released by human resources. Wheeeew! After calming down a bit, I contacted the hr person, and vooooiiilllaaa! Taken care of.

This is pins and needles, people! pins and needles. Everyday is more and more about the FS--will I get my clearance? Will they call? Will I get invited to a class? Each step takes you further toward the goal, yet the stakes continue to get higher--as your personal investment, time thinking about the possibilities, and what if's and if onlys continue to increase.

The top secret clearance is probably the worst, at least it is for me. I know I am a good worker, I should get good references. But to look backwards throughout your life for 10 LONG YEARS--what all happened? Who did I piss off? Did they really like me? The clearance is the one thing you have absolutely no control over. You cannot go back and change the past. Does everyone have some kind  of baggage? What all could possibly happen from this point forward that could completely ruin my chances of the clearance?
Perhaps my boss finding out about my interview.  Perhaps.